February 27, 2005
Another.Aside from the topic of education and Chinese language, it must now be known that there is a community whose life and welfare in Singapore has always been my concern area too. In fact, this was the community I had first wanted to do my thesis topic on. Unfortunately, due to methodological limitations, I had to make a quick shift in topic. But, news that concern them often raise my concern too. I'm talking about the community of foreign domestic helpers in Singapore.
From the papers...29A compulsory one day off every month for Indo domestic helpers? According to whatever little I understood from some of my respondents and their employers in the earlier days of researching for my thesis, Filipino helpers have a compulsory day off every week. On the other hand, Indonesian helpers are not entitled to that and any day off is an act of goodwill by the employers. Filipino helpers also get a significantly higher pay range than their Indonesian counterparts.
Since the topic is on compulsory day off for Indo domestic helpers, I shall narrow my focus. A reader of Today newspaper wrote in to say why she thinks that decision should be left to negotiation between the employer and the maid. She informed that her maid has plenty of rest time between 8.30am to 5pm on weekdays during which she can take her own sweet time to execute her daily routine household chores. The reader also argues that if time off is granted to her helper, she would probably have to take off from her annual leave to do the chores that her maid couldn't do cos the latter is 'on leave'.
My first response to this was, 'are you sure you don't take your own sweet time to do your work in office?' Then, 'never knew ironing clothes and mopping the floor is a 9 hours task that requires a day off from your annual leave...'
To have a day off away from your work environment creates an entirely different therapeutic experience than to take breaks from work but still remain in your working environment. An environment can be so stifling that even taking breaks in between work doesn't help to make a worker feel better. It's more like a physical pause in action rather than rest time.
Besides, God knows how much work some of these helpers have to do on a everyday basis! Household chores, tending to the children (the brats, some of them), tending to the in-laws... whatever nasty chores that was supposed to be yours were thrown to them. Seriously, if taking their own sweet time could accomplish these work from 8.30am - 5pm, the least you could give them is your utmost respect, and not petty attitude as this. Besides, when you knock off from work at 5pm (as if you don't work OT cos you were taking your own sweet time to finish your work before 5pm), you are going home. The helpers, despite always being at home, never knock off!
I think it's ridiculous what goes through the mind of some employers, really. Don't they realise that it's because of their superior mentality and condescending attitude that 'outsiders' have to step in to mind this business of theirs? Just because we are paying these helpers more than what they would have gotten if they stayed in their home country, that makes us eligible slave masters? Shocking!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 14:32
February 26, 2005
Love & dating...31Shared with Adeline some time ago about conflict management in a relationship. It's something that I read somewhere some time ago.
I think it's quite a simple logic. Negative energy begets negative energy. It only takes one party to feel cranky and bite and the other party to react and in no time, a quarrel/conflict is being brewed. We use the most unintended words that can and will hurt when we are in a bad mood or in a quarrelsome mood. Naturally, the other party will jump to his/her own defense and starts hurling verbal abuse. So, it goes on and on until one of you develop a loss of hurtful words or are made speechless. Or, until there comes a low point when you are too disillusioned to quarrel anymore and just want to get out of each other's sight. Or, when the girl starts crying. Hmm...
Anyway, what I shared with Ade was that sometimes, it only takes a simple (but very conscious) gesture to break the cycle of generating this negative emotions.
It's actually quite convincing, to me, at least. 'Cos life is very much an orchestra of habits, cycles and routines. Make a quick check. Whenever you quarrel with someone, the trigger point, boiling point, fuming point and sizzle point is about the same everytime? It goes through this cycle and even the number of cool-off days are likely to be the same everytime. Hence, if we identify that there is indeed a cycle, the logical thing then, is to break that cycle, isn't it?
To break that routine (a phrase that is becoming very commonly used at work) means to divert the attention given to further propagate the completion of the cycle to something that will stop the cycle in its track.
It could be a remark, a compliment, a bitchy comment about someone else (and I don't care who), an unexpected gesture, an unexpected remark, anything. Anything that is not in the cycle. The objective is for your 'opponent party' to be surprised (sometimes shock can work too) and slightly taken aback. Hmm, hopefully, lose his/her momentum of quarreling with you. Then, both of you can take it from there.
Say, 'hey, did you see that man who walked past? He looks damn gay. Maybe he is...' instead of saying 'Why do you always not listen when I ....?' More likely than not, your partner will turn to look at the 'gay man' and there you are! A pause in the cycle. After that, just go on about anything other than what sparked off the conflict.
You get my drift?
I'm not saying to brush the issue aside. You can still talk about it after gossiping about Mr Gay. It would be more constructive than to start accusing and hurling abuse if the cycle had continued. Have a few laughs before zooming in on an issue.
Actually, if you think about it, many issues just cannot be issues if you chose to stick it out with your partner. We all come from different background and developed different personalities. If what you are conflicting about is something inherent, then forget it. Learn to overlook it, if not appreciate it.
Ok. Back to my initial topic. Ya. Find a way to break the routine. It will definitely take some effort since most people are not rational and sensitive towards other's feelings when they are anxious, angry or upset. But, a simple gesture can go a long way in this instance.
Agree to disagree first before listing out why you are disagreeing.
xxx
I was inspired to do this last week when D smsed me. The inspiration lasted for almost a full week. You would have thought I would write a brilliant piece! Didn't I? heh...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:25
I almost lost it.Until the doc gave a 'Shut-up!' order. Along with cold tablets, tablets for blocked nose and tablets to restore my vocal cords.
I thought it would be difficult to shut up. Fortunately, it has turned out to be quite easy and relaxing to not talk. In school, I use a lot of visuals to communicate with my students. Yesterday, Anna had to switch on her laptop for me to communicate my opinions on her eyeshadow colour for her bridal make-up (performed expertly by Juan). Strange thing is, when you make an effort not to talk, somehow, it also felt a bit too strenuous to laugh. Or maybe it was just my medicine taking its drowsy effect on me.
xxx
She leapt off the shelf with purple eyeshadow and some very beautiful curls in her hair.I was at Anna's place yesterday, together with the rest of my 'jiemei' group. 6 women, 2 boyfriends, 13 years of friendship and many good wishes.
She's getting ROM-ed next month. Anna, to Victor. Did we think that she would be the first to leap off the shelf during days when we were eating Crunch and drinking 100-plus at Blk 229? We said that we would be each other's bridesmaids. Aww, the things we say when we were silly schoolgirls!
Yesterday felt like a rehearsal. Juan did the makeup for her (I still am wondering how the green eyeshadow would look...). Viv did the curls in her hair with much trial and error. The result was stunning. Our bride is beautiful in her Vietnamese Ao Dai.
As for the rest of us, I think the trend has been set. Pastel colours. Talk about disgustingly sweet! I wasn't the one who set the trend this time!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:07
February 20, 2005
Flow with the seconds.It started with Kyn. How she wished she could turn back time to Feb 2 - the day when she came back to Singapore. She thinks she has yet to catch up with so many friends and things and she has a flight that will transport her back to HK in 8 hours.
Apple then said how she wished she can turn back time to when she was a toddler, and stay there. All she needed to do was eat, cry, sleep and eat, cry, sleep.
Wenn puzzled why is it that they both wanted to turn back time. Why not fast forward? Why not fast forward to see your future so that you can have a say in whether or not that's the future you want and then act on it?
I think, why not just live by the moments today and now? I am a product of my past and a condition of my future. Meanwhile, I try to find meaning in the things that came and went in my life so far, and hang on to find out how today is the reason for tomorrow. Am I beginning to sound fatalistic or just more zen? hmm...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 16:37
Banter MagI was at B.B's Bar, Clarke Quay, with the Bches yesternight. This Banter Mag that is free circulation. I always like to read and keep a copy. It's witty and funny. Share with you readers some of the jokes that got me laughing out loud. Copyright, of cos, Banter Magazine. Unless they got it from somewhere else and then, I plead ignorance.
For the workplace:
Careful What you EatA multi-national corporation hired several cannibals. 'You're all part of our team now,' said the HR manager during the welcome briefing. 'You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees.' The cannibals promised they wouldn't.
A few weeks later, the cannibals' boss remarked, 'You're all working very hard, and I'm very pleased with you. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?'
The cannibals all shook their heads, 'No,' they said. After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals turned on the others, 'Right. Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?'
A hand rose hesitantly in admission. 'You fool!' said the leader, 'For weeks now we've been eating managers and consultants and no one's noticed a thing, but noooooo, you had to go and eat someone important!'
For the newly-wed:
Allocation of DutiesThree men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Europe and boasted that he had told his wife that she was expected to do all the dishes that needed doing at their house. He said that she took a couple of days, but on the third day the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Asis. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was cleaned, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married an Australian girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, and food on the table for every meal. He said he didn't see anything and still by the second day nothing at all. But by the third day, most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.
Hmmm...Why do people keep running over a piece of string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
My mum would just pick it up and feed the vacuum cleaner. hee...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 16:10
Radiance.D popped by my place for a CNY visit. Had a good chat with him and he is going to help me find out the price of some comics that I stopped collecting. hee..
He said I looked tired (I said it's cos of the terrible weather). But he also said I looked radiant and prettier. I don't know how to look tired and radiant at the same time. But, I can safely take his words that he wasn't flattering me. D doesn't flatter anyone. He's a really genuine person. That makes him wonderful company for chatting.
So, I think it's my specs. It flatters my hair colour, which adds more radiance to my face. And I think it's my eyebrows, which I've sorta perfecting drawing them. And occasionally, it's my blusher. I'm not in denial.
Thank you. ^^
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 03:27
A better bitch.I think I often reach my word quota and reach it more easily these days. Realised I use a lot of my voice for work and patience at work. Hence, not much left for my own personal activities.
So, pardon me if I am speaking lesser these days. But at least I think I'm speaking slower now. It's a good habit from work. Speak slow but calm. Makes me sounds more in control eh?
Take care, please. Do you realise that you can go on one whole evening without smoking any cigarette till Cheryl offered you? I don't see why you can't continue one lifetime without smoking.
Remember what I said. 24 hours per day - the only thing fair about life in this world. Manage it properly. Be the manager of your time, not the other way round.
We'll see you in another half year or so. I hate to say this but will miss you. And your fucking lousy sense of punctuality. Shit you.
p.s. you almost made me lose my darlings by getting us all into near-accidents. You crazy woman.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 03:16
February 18, 2005
Love & dating...30As a matter of fact, I used to think that when someone asks 'how's your day?' at the close of every day, he's being superficial and boring. But once, I had the time to reflect what is it about a relationship that keeps it going. I realised the answer can be as simple as taking the effort to ask another person how is his/her day. It's one of the things I missed in the initial stage of picking myself up from a break up. I got off from work, wanting to whine about my day, or marvel about my day to someone and I found no one to share it with.
That was when I decided that having someone ask 'how's your day?' is a pretty romantic thing. Hey, do you really think that the person who asked you truly wants to know how your day went? Sometimes, the every day can get so mundane that there really is nothing much to differ today from yesterday. So, why bother?
Well, it's a good start to any conversation. hehe...
Knowing myself, if I want to talk about my day, boy, would I talk about it incessantly! So, it's something like a 'bad' start to a conversation if you asked that question when I am in the mood to reflect on my day. You would probably finish ironing your clothes while I ramble on. And you'd probably be thinking about what colour to wear tomorrow while I go on and on about life's plans for me in the last 24 hours.
I have learnt to appreciate that. The 'not listening' part of listening. We often take that for granted. The fact that the other person bothered to hold onto the phone while trying to listen to you. 'Trying' cos some people are just no good in multi-tasking. Hey, a worse scene could be, the other person could have gone on and on about himself!
Besides, many times, I really only wanted to make empty remarks and inconsequential observations. Nothing intelligent, please. I'd like to reserve my brain energy for my students. So, I don't mind if he thinks I'm just making noise. But, at least there is an outlet.
Hence, I don't mind if it sounds superficial and boring. I think it's important that we make that small effort to share our day. I apologise if I sometimes neglect to return the question. But, he can be assured I'm all ears if he starts grumbling incessantly.
Listening and sharing. That's the whole point of human relationships, right?
So... how's your day today?
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 18:50
February 17, 2005
Pass me the butter knifeI feel slightly murderous towards a few of my students.
My mum had this smirk on her face when I told her I understand now how she felt when I wailed and screamed my head off with tears streaming down my face for no real important reason when I was young. She thinks it's payback time! Talk about life is fair...
xxx
RE: G.I.D question 2okie, dear highly regarded jan n ann, can we discuss the commercialism of v day? i wanna hear ye views from yr side. teddy bears, flowers, chocolates, do they appeal to u at all? - archie
Concisely, no.
The only teddy bear I've allowed to share my bed with is this little bear wearing a yellow jumper suit that I chose and my ma bought for me some 12 years back from what used to be Thomson Yaohan. I don't like teddies. But, this particular one, I felt an affinity with.
I remember receiving flowers from my xbf on a few occasions. See! They matter 'so much' to me that I don't even remember which occasion. All roses. Which, actually, is not my favourite flower. I remember receiving a huge bouquet of lilies before. Very, very pretty. From Wenn. Her NTU Biz committee was selling bouquets for v-day. I think she felt obliged to buy a bouquet and had no one to give to. But, that was really pretty. Still, not my favourite flower. No, I don't think a big deal of flowers. 'cos truth is, I buy myself flowers occasionally, just to cheer myself up or brighten up my workplace. I prefer a garden to flowers. Send me a gardener too.
Chocolates. Haha! People who know my diet habit will know that I very rarely have cravings for chocolate. I don't particularly like them (neither chips). I don't like the 'heaty' feeling after eating choco. (hey, but I don't mind Tomato Twisties. hee)
V-day is so girlfriend-oriented these days. It's like the day when guyz are supposed to impress or surprise a girl. And, like I mentioned near V-day '04, I'm definitely on the guys' side on v-day. Girls can be such a pain ye! haha...
But, don't get me wrong. I enjoy surprises and I appreciate surprises, even if I'm usually too smart for my own good and could see through the conspiracy. Hence, if wishes come true, everyday is Valentine's Day in a healthy relationship. Romance the every day. Who said you gotta buy a gift to be romantic and sweet? I second Annie's idea...
How about a slow stroll on the beach, by the moonlight? Just you and me. How about a simple 'how's your day?' near the close of everyday? How about getting a free zocard for the other when you see one that he/she'd like? How about just holding each other's hands tighter when walking in crowds? How about rolling our eyes together and giggling together when we see something amusing? How about...
I think you got my answer.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 18:09
February 13, 2005
Look who's here!You've heard his name being mentioned here, you've heard about him, well, a bit. Now, he's here as my guest blogger. People, this is...
Eugene (aka knight in this blog, and elsewhere)!
xxx
Who's feeling suitably pressurised already even before the seat below me is hardly warm... Thanks for the introduction Jancy, it feels like I'm about to address the nation - or that could just be the egotistic devil in me making me think the nation's about to read this blog 'o mine. Speaking of which, im totally into this blogging mania, yes i am! So much so that i have already had two blogs, both of which ive made a grand total of three entries (number staggering you already?) and both of which ive already lost. HOW on Earth does one lose a blog? I have the dubious honor of having done that. Twice. My most sincere apologies to people out there who blog religiously.
Ive always thought that blogging is one of the biggest irony in cyberspace. Its supposed to be the most personal of things isn't it? How personal can something get when there's a few billion potential peeping toms? And it defies my sense of logic (yes, I DO have one) when i hear my colleagues telling me they find out about their students' "secrets" throught their blogs which are cryptically named, well, after their own names.... (cryptology - another thing we need to add into the syllabus)
It always makes me thoughtful (for the brief 5 seconds im capable of sensible thought) that we lock things up in a cyber-closet, away from people but knowing deep down that people may find out, but maybe we do want them to find out. Maybe we don't want to tell people things directly, we leave it to them to find out indirectly, because they can then decide whether to deal with it or not. If they want to, they will. If they don't, then they pretend not to have come across it.
Reading someone's blog always leads me into a psychoanalytic frenzy trip, and i keep feeling like i've got to do something, or comment or something. This is probably.. erm... why i, erm... hardly read my friend's blogs? haha...
But im not about to assume that all these things are astro-skeletons in a cyberspace-closet of course. It's a nice, cosy place for that little voice inside us that comments, questions, formulates opinions that no one necessarily wants to hear about (like now), bitches, insults, dreams for us, etc, etc.
So im going home tonight (eh... maybe tomorrow night or the next) to get meself another blog address. And this time i will try not to lose it within a week.
Have a blogging NEw YEar...
xxx
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 16:35
From the papers...28(Actually, from TV Mobile)
A campaign for abstinence from sex. What? PRE-marital sex, I meant. The slogan was something like 'Abstain from sex until marriage because you are worth waiting for.' Doesn't that ring a bell? Hint: A cosmetic brand.
Details are, the non-profit org that is hosting this campaign will be targetting to sell this white and red wristbands to teenagers at Orchard road this weekend. Red signifies true love (??? I always associated red with true passion more than true love) and white signifies purity.
I am not for, neither against it. Not the campaign, but pre-marital sex. I just find it extremely amusing that there's actually such a campaign in Singapore. Two dimensions. Firstly, if sex is the most private sphere of an individual, what happened such that we need a national campaign to address our sexual conduct? Secondly, is a campaign as this even close to addressing the issue at hand?
So what if 8000 youths (that's their target) actually purchase this national colours wristband? Does that mean they subscribe to the slogan? Who are they trying to kid? Who are we trying to kid?
The surface issue at hand is increased rate of abortions among the teenagers group, not whether the gift of virginity is worth waiting for or not. The logical thing to do is to get Durex to sponsor complimentary packets of condoms and distribute it to people. If need be, have a public demonstration about how to use a condom properly. I'm thinking of, erm, bananas, maybe? (haha, so people will never think of bananas in the same way ever again). That would be prevention.
Now come consequences. Show the public the process of an abortion. Show the public the angst of an orphan who was abandoned by irresponsible parents. Blow up poster size pictures of a gory scene from an abortion, give it out for them to stick it on wherever they are most likely to commit the act. They probably won't, of course! I wouldn't, for crying out loud! But, I trust visuals will drive home the message better and deeper. After all, who would bother wearing the wristband in the heat of action?
And to address a deeper issue, isn't this also about a sense of responsibility? Sorely lacking in our society these days. But, that's another arena altogether.
We don't need a campaign for a weekend, and was it intentional that it's the weekend just before Valentine's Day? We need a comprehensive and extensive education effort.
I wonder what other silly campaigns can we come up with next...
p.s. this is supposed to be one part of a 3-parts blog by Bionic, Archie and myself. Archie didn't reply to my sms except to say that he's celebrating V-day with his gf. So, I guess the ball is in Bionic's court now. Keep it bouncing, gal!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:53
February 12, 2005
Talk to the fingers.Long, slim fingers that I really don't mind exchanging for. Long, slim fingers that I can fall in love with. Envy sometimes has no difference with jealousy.
This CNY, as you 'lo-hei', look at all their fingers. It can be a very sexy thing.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:31
February 11, 2005
You are imagining things.Kay said I'm evil. She said she can still see the tigress with the whip in me. She expressed that she can't stand it that I have such a harmless and angelic face but I am actually evil. She insists that I have multiple personalities. She even started predicting my giving very wicked and mean responses to her. She dreams of me (I must say I'm very disturbed by the occurences).
I think she needs to see a shrink. I know of one. The one I am still seeing every full moon.
xxx
I miss the bad English, like 'austin power'.Isn't it funny? Almost the first thing I miss. I won't say if it's the last. And all those 'conjunction' phrases. Sounds great? Sounds great. Sounds great. Must be two times.
xxx
It's snowing in Singapore.Ya, right. How did all this sunlight come about? Shitzzz...
xxx
In-between, I won 1 miserable buck.New card game I picked up from Wenn's house last night. The whole point is, really, not to be greedy. And, some people are just damn suay. Blackjack, schwimmen, in-between... Mahjong is still at the bottom of the list.
I don't like to drag when it comes to winning or losing money. Mahjong is too long a process. By the south wind, I will start throwing out any tile just as long as someone wins and the game moves along.
I'm the best mahjong kaki you can find. You just have to tell me what you are waiting for.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 18:52
February 10, 2005
A Happy Cuckoo Year!
Personally, I think the last animal at the rein did a pretty good job. That would be Monkey, that would be the one ruling my own birth-year house. Good job! *claps*
The rooster is here now. First thing I learnt, BAD year for marriages. Second thing, Monkeys aren't having a very smooth year ahead. Cranky year for us. Ok. So, we've all been warned.
Meanwhile, the rooster has just crowed. Have a good year ahead, y'all!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 11:44
February 06, 2005
At the same time...
I agree to do my minute part in this battle. But, can I be entitled to 21 days annual leave?
Can I not want to fight for something all the time? Can someone fight off everything for me some of the time? Can I be left alone on days that I feel like retreating to an illusion? Or would my effort be immediately undermined cos of such days?
for as far as I'm concerned, this is a very lonely battle.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 21:43
I can't be empathetic to everyone. That's part of God's job.
How do I know if you are exercising some resistance or you are just making noise? I think what got me really annoyed was your gesturing towards me in a rather crude way while cutting me off in what I have to say. Maybe I should have told you I was really tired and I didn't even want to talk if I had a choice.
Talking about resistance. What was that thing about hating MOE and the MOE system and then you are actually joining MOE as a teacher yourself? What was that thing about 'I shouldn't bite the hand that feeds me?' Where's the consistency in that?
>>
I think everyone has the right to choose how they want to live. And, who am I to say they are defeatist? I too understand why some chose to accept come what may. My only condition was that people should make an informed choice. And I think a lot of us are informed. That's why religions still serve a purpose, in fact, a seemingly bigger purpose.
I made my own choice and I live what I believe in. If it makes anyone happier to live what they chose to, then there is no right or wrong way to live anymore. There never was, anyway.
Ok. I get the point about two different levels of discontentment. Makes sense. I am sure there are a lot of misfortunes that come with being fortunate. I assure that I have, more than once, argued with some close friends about how we have a lot of misfortunes and to poke at their illusions of this society, and this government. Most times, I ended up having to remind myself that my friends are entitled to their opinion. So, while I voice mine and stand up for mine, I gotta give them the space to decide what they chose to believe.
There are loads to improve on, but have we made the choice to make that improvement? Some have, some have not. Among those who have not are people who chose to be defeated and also those who talk and talk about needing that improvement and yet whose actions don't go with what they said.
I think what happened was, my empathy tank ran low that night. I should have just shut up, stood up and leave. Trust me, my whole weekend felt fucked up cos of this encounter.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 21:04
From http://www.tigerbeer.us/horoscope/
I'm a Virgo Monkey. And the below is supposed to say something about what I'm like. Well, can't argue with most of the points.
Read on.
Your sign holds rulership of both work and health, the mood of the times likely reflects your strong concern for issues of safety and security. You're probably quite meticulous, and well organized, especially in matters of business. But that attention to detail will show in other aspects of your life, as well. Be careful of a tendency to be critical of yourself. Although you'll always try your hardest to do the right thing by others, they may not always cooperate. If you don't convince someone to make positive changes in their life, remind yourself that you can't control what anyone else does-only yourself. Move on, and let them learn their own lessons.
The astrological indicators of your birth time also point to a strong proclivity for caution. Several planets made their way through your earthy, practical, flaw-conscious sign, while both fiery Mars and startling Uranus passed through intense, perceptive Scorpio. All of these qualities mean that you hold within you the potential for working in medicine, but regardless of what you choose for a life-path, you'll be an expert trouble-shooter-and the person others turn to when they have a problem that seems irresolvable.
In relationships, you'll do well to find someone as devoted and settled as you are, like the other earth signs, Taureans and Capricorns. Your challenge is to be careful of a tendency toward pessimism or over-caution. Your gifts are your strong organizational and analytical skills.
PARTICULARLY gotta agree with 'If you don't convince someone to make positive changes in their life, remind yourself that you can't control what anyone else does-only yourself. Move on, and let them learn their own lessons.'
I'm always trying, really. I think I've improved a lot, after many lessons from my last relationship, last unpleasant episode in a friendship, and definitely after many reminders from Bblics. Currently, I'm more living by my own mantra of 'those who matter will understand, those who don't understand and can't even respect simply don't matter.'
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 20:42
The butt-line is 'Live what you believe in'.
Welcome home, Kyn! Please, there is no wrong or right time to be back. This is your home. Pardon me for being a bit more acidic today than usual. I'm just annoyed, as I already explained.
It's great to see you. You little fair bitch. You are too fair for your image, really. Love Wenn's new hairdo.
See you both again and Apple on Mon. Try to cut it short though. I've morning duty in school on Tuesday. = P
xxx
Truly, I'm not a cynic.
Truly, I find hanging out with them a bad way to spend time.
I spoke to someone on Friday night who, I believe, holds the same opinions with me on our education system and on MOE. Ironically, I didn't enjoy talking to him at all. To begin with, he has rather bad conversation skills. He cuts me off when I'm in mid-sentence and gives his opinion with a lot of gesturing in my direction. That made me feel under attack even if we shared the same opinion regarding MOE. How would you like someone to gesture towards you and go, 'You don't give me that crap! You know very well that it's not...' Shit. Just let me finish up what I have to say. Bloody Hell.
Then, I realised that he sorta belongs to the 'unconstructive cynics' group. Meaning, there is something he believes in but he believes even more strongly that the world he lives in, the system he lives in, the place he lives in, the boss he works for (i.e. MOE) are not supportive of what he believes in. But, of course! If every system has to support everyone's beliefs, then what's the bloody point of having a system?
So, began a lot of complaining, whining, angry sentiment, negative energy, almost beating himself up just cos the system sucks. Like, duh?
Can we all come to terms with the fact that we all live in a system, in fact, many systems? The system may be good, or it may be bad. But there's certainly no escaping from it. If you don't like it, you either just swallow it for the sake of being in some sort of peace, or do something about it. If you want to do something about it and just your own strength is not enough to change the world, then live what you believe in such that people in your sphere of influence (everyone has one, don't say you can't influence anyone) can benefit from your actions and your thoughts. If you can't do that for whatever reason, then the minimal is to make sure you live your life such that it shows what beliefs and what core values you stand for. And, whatever it is, please remember that you are already a lot more fortunate than a lot more others who also live in this system (that sucks).
I think the thing with this group of people is that, they are so good in seeing the flaws in so many things and so ironically happy being disillusioned that nothing seems like a good gesture to them. It's so easy to fall into not being able to stay on the ground and count your blessings. Suddenly, life is like a game that you can never win and yet, you have to keep going.
Seriously, what's the point in that? Does it make you any happier? Does it make the people around you happier? Does it make the world a better place to live in?
I can respect people who knows and chose to just accept it. I find it hard to tolerate people who knows and starts generating negative energy all around him/her just so everyone would know how F-up he/she thinks the world is.
xxx
This is how it began...
Ever since I started working with autistic children, I feel a strong obligation to clarify and explain Autism Spectrum Disorder. I also feel an obligation to explain to others about the position of Pathlight School (that would be where I work).
We strongly believe that no child should be denied an opportunity to learn and develop. That is why we work very hard to give our children an equal opportunity to get ahead in terms of academic progression. At the same time, we customize our teaching to better suit their learning needs. We teach them a lot of skills parents of neuro-typical children often take for granted in their children. We teach them emotional management and social communication skills. We deal with their behavioural issues, and accomodate their sensory issues.
But we do have our constraints. Simply being in Singapore is one. The system doesn't allow our children to pursue their nation-wide exams when they are more than 2 years lagging behind. Example, a child's last chance of sitting for the PSLE is at the age of 14. I know it's one of the most unforgiving things within the system. But, at least, we are helping them to work towards that. That's our purpose.
For a whole system to change will take decades. But, this is a small step. Small but nevertheless important. If you have to be cynical about MOE and their sincerity in helping these children, go ahead. But, don't you spread the negative energy to me in my work. I believe in what I'm doing, I know what I'm doing and I enjoy doing it.
So, stand back.
xxx
Answer: When is he going to get me?
Question (Kyn to me): When are you going to get a boyfriend?
Just a practice session for the question that is bound to come this festive season.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:25
February 05, 2005
If you call this a whatever.
I really wanna write this thing about autism and about education, whh will then lead to my talking about cynics and about life in general. But, it's 1am now and my eyelids are submitting to gravity as I'm typing now. It's crazy. I am missing my sleep-by time by leaps and bounds. so, I'd have to come back tomorrow.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:56
Love & dating...29
I was doing spring cleaning, round 2, just now. I threw away some things that I once thought I would keep forever. But then, I actually do keep them forever. I keep them as a part of me, not as objects that take up my living space.
Photos that showed two faces that were too young to know what was in store for them. Little keepsakes and little gifts that marked the monthly progress of a relationship that was not to be. Episodic captures of what the same two faces shared. Things that I went through pain to put together in a nice lime-green box, which I thought I would always find a little corner in my room to keep, no matter how small my room really is. I took out from that box, quite calmly, looked through and I very carefully put them into the disposal bag. Then, brought it down to the rubbish collection area at my flat.
I kept the box. I kept the cards too. It's easy to make an impression on me; use written words. I could never (never say 'never') bring myself to throw cards. Especially cards with personal messages written on it. I assume that writing cards doesn't come as natural as breathing to most people. Hence, I appreciate that someone actually took the time and effort to pen a few message for me.
For everything, there is a right time. I think the time is right now. I will keep it within me. Our past makes us. As for all the little things, they'd be gone by tomorrow morning.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:39